Before going further, I want to acknowledge some things that I truly am grateful for. I know it is highly likely that these things are going to change - and probably very soon. But up to now and for the present, I am very much aware of the small blessings I do have.
Firstly, my mom is continent. That's not to say we haven't had several disasters at different times - due in part to me having to accustom myself to asking someone else regularly if they want to go to the bathroom. She also tends not to be aware of her needs - or not to voice them - until the last minute. I know the hospital where she goes for care has this problem also, because occasionally she comes back in nappies: they have limited staff who cannot be everywhere all the time. It's "easier" for me because basically I have to be within sight and earshot of her 24 hours a day. But I am truly grateful that up to now her brain has been working her bladder and bowel properly. To complement this, I prepare foods that avoid the dreaded constipation issue, and I bake bread for her using wholewheat and raising it with baking soda, because she has trouble with yeast.
Secondly, my mom can feed herself. I take care to ensure I give her food she can chew comfortably. All crusts come off the toast and slices are cut up small, vegetables are steamed, meat has to be chopped up finely and she eats finger food, or from a bowl using a spoon. I carry plastic knives and plates in the car so if we buy takeaways I can cut them up for her. Eating is not a tidy procedure and often I wince at the mess, but I just have to manage. If anyone looks inside my beaten-up old bomb of a Ute while it's parked in our very upmarket nearest small town, they must wonder what they've struck. It's like having children - except it gets worse, instead of better. And what's more, I am not too sure how long this blissful situation will last.
Thirdly, in spite of her longstanding mobility problems, my mom can still manage to walk short distances with a walking frame. We are able to use the bathroom. I can get her out to the car for short journeys. I am grateful for this, though there has been a toll on my body at times. Thank goodness I have a really good chiropractor. And one who's more concerned with fixing his patients that making a fortune out of them.
Fourthly, my mom still recognizes me. There are some qualifications here because very often these days she calls me by the name of her elder sister Evie, who died with a brain tumor when I was a small child. But she knows I am family and she is far from being a vegetable mentally. In fact she talks almost continuously during her waking hours - aargh!!!!!!!
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