My mom was 95 when she died. Thanks to a long-term family interest in alternative health care she was never on any serious medication, and I think that's part of the reason she lived so long.Pharmaceutical drugs are fine for epidemics and emergency situations. We have much to be grateful for there. But we have lost sight of the fact that the human body was created to operate perfectly efficiently without intervention from the pharmaceutical industry.
Unfortunately, the Health Establishment has become the front man and trialling-ground for companies dedicated to pursuing the mighty $ by furthering the use of artificial chemicals in the bodies and everyday lives of as many human beings as possible. If you doubt me, just think how many drugs, touted as "tested" and "safe" have been withdrawn and are now the subject of class-action lawsuits.Be aware of this as you watch over the daily health of your patient. Be aware also, that the administration of one drug inevitably leads to the administration of further drugs to alleviate the side-effects of the first - and the second - and the third.As a case in point, I strongly recommend you read my post called "Blood Pressure". This is something that concerns many people, especially as they get older. It is also the thin end of the wedge, as you will see if you read about it. I put this post also on my Health News Blog and have had some great feedback from it.It's very much in your interest, if you don't have the knowledge already, to learn a bit about natural health and why we get sick, and I recommend you start your journey on my Health News Splash Page. Go ahead and read it - it won't ask you to put in your name and email address, still less try to sell you anything, and there's even more interesting stuff inside the site itself: some 'back to basics' information that's been all but forgotten lately.The reason I'm pointing all this out is that you have a difficult enough road dealing with the vagaries of your patient's mental state and disposition, without being beleaguered by physical health issues as well. These health issues of old age are not unavoidable, they are not necessarily incurable, and you can do a lot to lighten your load if you follow some of the principles of naturally healthy living in caring for your patient.It's not that hard, or expensive - as you'll see ...
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alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, blood pressure, die, natural health, gangrene
Because blogs are not that easy to navigate, I've decided to get together my thoughts on advice to help carers - not with issues like available help, legal issues and finances, all of which can be researched on the net. These aspects are state or country specific anyway, so everyone needs to do their own homework. Having said that, I would recommend getting an enduring power of attorney in place as soon as possible - but that's something you need to talk to your lawyer about. Bear in mind that in my case by the time I felt I could do with it, my mom was past being able to make the legal decision. In a way, it wasn't all that necessary for me because we already lived togther in the same home, so there was no need to sell real estate. Similarly, there were no investment issues to deal with. But it could be a very different story for you.I have to say that it's not easy to raise with a loved parent the need for them to hand over to you the managment of their lives and possessions. Some people might find that simple to do - well, bully for them. I'm not ashamed to say that I didn't - one of the main reasons being the cold calculation required to tell someone you love that they are approaching death - because that's what it amounts to. I shirked doing this, not because I couldn't face the truth myself, but because of the effect it would have on my mother's mindset. And that's not something that everyone may have thoughts of or even care about. Think yourself lucky if the patient, while still compos mentis, initiates this step themselves. That's something to be grateful for. Otherwise, things can slip considerably before you realize what's going on. The guts of the matter is being aware well in advance of what's about to happen, and that's a rare gift, unless you've seen it all before, or read about it. Thank goodness Alzheimers is much more discussed these days than it was 10 years ago.What I'm going to be looking at is some of the advice that most helped me in dealing with my mom's journey - some things I wish I'd known earlier, and things that gradually became clearer to me as time passed. Because I've always had a strong interest in alternative health care, most of the things I'm going to be talking about are ways to help your patient's health. I'm not a healthcare professional and I don't want to be seen to be advising people on health matters, but I WILL be offering some common-sense thoughts and suggestions to make a difference to YOUR day.Stay tuned!- - - Technorati Tags:
alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, dying, die, christian, gangrene
NOW - I haven't told the stories in the last series of posts to say, "Look at me!" Far from it.
I am simply offering my experiences in the hope that they might be of help or strike a chord with someone else. I know very well what it's like to be in that lonely place called the Valley of the Shadow of Death, and I'm more than ever convinced that we are not alone there, even though it may feel that way most of the time. We are all individuals, and in some ways our experiences are going to be individual. But basically, I am no different from anyone else. God is faithful, His orchestration of events is masterly, and He does not give up on us. He is there for every single one of us, IF our motives are right and IF we will only seek Him. And those are two big IFs. Nearly 2000 years ago words were written that sum up very clearly how big those two IFs are. One of my favorite reads is the Epistle of James the brother of Jesus, written to the expatriate Hebrews living throughout the Mediterranean world. I admire this book tremendously.
James has the same forthright, no-messing style that his brother had. Jesus called a spade a spade and He didn't hesitate to rebuke and condemn where necessary. It's significant that His words of condemnation were saved not for sinners or the down-and-outs but for the rich and the powerful of His time - the pillars of the Church, no less. Jesus came to state the truth and to prove that power does not reside in earthly wealth or position. No wonder he was executed.James is well worth a read in a day and age when we are struggling to undertand why some of our greatest edifices are crumbling beneath our feet. Especially in a good modern translation he comes across clear and strong:
"You want things but you cannot have them, so you are ready to kill. You desire things, but you cannot get them, so you quarrel and fight.
"You do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it. And when you ask you do not receive because your motives are bad."
James 4:2-3
This applies to individuals, it applies to families, it applies to corporations and it applies to governments. It is at the root of all our troubles.- - - Technorati Tags:
alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, dying, die, christian, gangrene
I was still worrying, after Kath's death, about what had become of her. Silly, isn't it - but I couldn't help it. I kept thinking about how lost she had been and how she was unable at the end to ask the Lord into her life.
On the one hand, it seemed to me that her 'stroke of midnight' passing was very significant. It felt like an appointment - as if it had been timed to let me know that God had come for her indeed.Nonetheless, a nasty little voice in my ear kept whispering that I was being too presumptuous, that I was making something out of nothing, and who was I to think that the Almighty would be sending signs to me anyway? The seed of the serpent was at work, as he always is, trying to undermine and destroy. All I could do was to keep on quietly Knockin' on Heaven's Door with my hope that she was safe.It was a Sunday about a month after my mother's passing, and I went to church. There was a couple doing door duty whom I hadn't seen for many weeks because he had been preaching elsewhere. As I went in, they pointed out some friends of theirs - long-time Christians - visiting from about 500 miles down country.I always believe in making visitors feel at home so I went and sat right behind these people and got talking to them. Exactly how the conversation started I don't remember, but the wife, who was a lovely lady, of her own accord launched into telling me about how God gives. Her final words as the service started up were, "..and you know, God comes at midnight..." She turned away and I sat transfixed: in fact the service went by in something of a blur.After it was over I asked her if she had any idea what her last words meant to me. She shook her head. I explained the circumstances of my mom's illness and her death, and how the words she had just spoken were an answer to the question that had been plaguing me.She wasn't the least bit surprised. "Well, we've had a great week's fishing in our friends' boat, " she said . "We had a good catch and we were going to get away back home first thing this morning, but something made us decide instead to come to church. As soon as you walked in the door, I knew I had a message of some sort for you. And the second part of the message is that God loves you."I felt totally humbled. Here I was wallowing in my unbelief, and the answer had been sent to me via people from 500 miles away.- - - Technorati Tags:
alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, dying, die, christian
The day after Ken died I had half a dozen Review hearings to do for the Accident Compensation Corporation - a full day's work. I'd rung the office the afternoon before to tell them he had passed on and was asked if I wanted the hearings schedule cancelled. I'd said no - the show must go on. The rooms had been booked and the arrangements with all the parties were made, and anyway I thought it would be good for me and for Kath not to sit moping. I took her with me.I always held the Hamilton hearings high up in one of the city's central buildings, with huge windows and great views out over the rooftops.
It was a brilliant sunny winter's day. Kath sat in an adjacent room, I popped in and out between my court sessions, and we were able to have lunch together. That was the start of a new phase of life, in which I stepped into my father's shoes. It was the natural thing to do and it was also the only thing to do - there was no-one else.The other time I felt my dad reach out to me was about 5 months later in early 1986 after we had made the decision not to sell this property - which he'd often said we would have to sell after he was gone. With its half-built house and 10 acres, it wasn't easy to take on, but I loved the place, and could no more have sold it than fly in the air.It was over the Christmas 1985 holidays, which we spent here, that Kath and I made up our minds to come back here to live. It meant finishing the house, selling my home in Cambridge and moving all my stuff. I also had to complete my contracts with the ACC and the Waikato Polytechnic, where I was the lecturer in Business Law. I was already signed up for the coming year. And I had no idea what I was going to do for an income.One day not too long after the decision was made, we came home from somewhere and I pulled up at the first of our gates. This is aways kept shut because of stock. As I watched my mom go forward to open the gate for me to drive through, it came to me how many times my dad must have done this over the years, and I suddenly felt his presence again. At that same instant, a powerful sense of warmth, peace, love and "rightness" flooded through me, lasting for several moments. It felt like a blessing - an approval of our decision to stay.I haven't had any experiences like this with Kath. But one event connected with her had a huge impact on me ...- - - Technorati Tags:
alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, dying, die, christian, after death communication, ADC
My dad died in the Waikato Hospital in Hamilton in August 1985, just a couple of days before his birthday. It was a huge wrench for both me and my mom.Kath had spent a very gruelling week at his side in the Waikato Hospital. When it was all over we went back to my house in the late aftenoon and once we got to bed that night she was soon asleep. But I lay awake with a book I'd brought back to New Zealand 2 years back from his twin sister's estate in Marblehead MA called "Life After Life" by Raymond Moody - a doctor who researched many near-death episodes after some of his patients started telling him about their experiences. My dad was no longer on this earth and I simply wanted to understand what might be happening to him, that was all. I'd read the book before, but I needed to read it again.How long I'd been reading I don't know but suddenly I was aware of my father's presence in the room. I can recall this as clearly as if it was yesterday."Well, Ken," I said inside my head, "I guess you know all about everything, now.""No," he replied, "Not everything ... just some things ..." With that, he was gone. I put the book down and settled down to sleep.Now, you might tell me I had dozed and dreamed it. You might say the book influenced my mind - although it says nothing about ADCs (After Death Communications). It focuses entirely on experiences of people who were either close to death or died clinically and who for one reason or another revived and lived to tell the tale. Definitely no ADCs there.
In fact, though I've got a couple of books on ADC listed in the sidebar for visitors who might be interested, I have to confess I STILL haven't read a single book on the topic, and probably never will. So ADC sure wasn't in my thoughts 20 years ago.Like it or not, I choose to see this episode as evidence, not only that there is a life beyond death, but also that the process of growing and learning continues, as my father had always said. I think he came back to tell me that.
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alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, dying, die, christian, after death communication, ADC
This picture shows my father and my grandfather - William Ernest Howitt - both of them Regimantal Sergeant Major of the 1st Battalion Scots Guards in their day.
Sadly, I don't remember my grandfather very well because he'd been gassed in France in the 1914-18 War and he was never a well man after that. He died when I was a very small child. He used to call me "Poppy".
My dad had plenty of time to prepare himself for death - he lived for 5 years after being diagnosed with chronic lymphatic leukaemia in 1980, following a freak accidental exposure to agricultural chemicals, and was in full possession of his faculties until the end.
He had a stong belief in the continued existence of the soul after dying and in his final years often referred to his body as "the old overcoat".His death was much harder for me to take than Kath's, partly because we were much closer spiritually and I guess, too, it's harder to part with someone who is still fully "there" with you until the last.He had always insisted I get a good education because his own schooling was unsatisfactory - something he had to rectify later in life in the army. He wasn't going to see me go the same route, and he set an example by always being open to learning new stuff. "Knowledge" was his motto.
He used to tell me that we are like tapes, and the more learning and knowledge we have on our tape when we die, the better. At the time he passed away down in Hamilton in August 1985, 2 days off his 70th birthday, he was talking of learning about and getting into the world of computing. This background will help you understand the communication I'll describe in my next post.- - - Technorati Tags:
alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease, death, dying, die, christian,
