I came from a small family unit of 2 parents and a child, isolated from relatives by "the army life" and brought up to be creative rather than to socialise. I was never exposed to caring for the elderly, still less dealing with Alzheimers disease. When you are unaware, the disease creeps up on you before you have time to know what it is or even consider how you are going to deal with it. For sure, if I had known what I was in for 20 years ago I would have arranged many things differently, or else run - and then had to wear the guilt and lose my inheritance.
But there are bigger implications than this. In our society, it is usually the role of the single daughter in the family to look after the elderly parents, or sometimes the single son. Everyone else tends to duck for cover, of course - far too busy rearing families, running businesses, or making money. Hmm... This cosy little routine needs calling in question, because it throws a huge burden on the family member who has the least support to help deal with it. It's as if the child who hasn't married has some debt to repay that the rest of society is exempt from.
The situation is often brushed aside - "Sis is living with mom and looking after her." Well, isn't that nice? For her, or for everyone else? Has anyone seriously thought what it's like to live alone day in and day out with someone whose body and brain are not fully functioning? I can't tell you how much I wish at times that I could hang out with someone who can do up their own seatbelt, make a cup of tea, and wipe their own bottom after going to the bathroom. Not to mention carry on a meaningful conversation.
- - -
Technorati Tags:
alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease
No comments:
Post a Comment