The next 6 days were agonizing. The morphine stood between us, so that - something I hadn't really anticipated - "normal" contact with my mother was now over.
For the first couple of days I helped her a bit with eating, but then she started refusing food, pushing away the hands that were trying to help her. On the Wednesday she was obviously hallucinating - crying out and pointing at some terrible thing that only she could see.
On the Thursday I had to go into town for a lunch meeting with some friends to discuss webdesign work that I was doing for them. They asked me how my mom was and I poured out my fears and worries. The wife asked me if she could help - she is a psychic - and she said she was doing quite a lot of work helping people through the process of death.
I have never in my life sought psychic advice or been to mediums or fortune-tellers. To me, that was equivalent to handing your mind over into someone else's control because, like it or not, whatever you are told about your future is going to stay with you and influence your mental processes from there on. But I was beside myself with worry about my mom. I have high respect for this lady - and this was slightly different. So I agreed. I asked her to find out if there was anything I could do to help Kath.
That night she rang to tell me that Kath's soul was actually now quite far away from her body, and that she felt alone and lost. "Get your Pastor in," she advised. So I rang Pastor Lynley and made an appointment with her for lunchtime Friday at the hospital.
I am truly grateful that I got this help. One of the problems for those of us who don't have a heap of experience about sickness and death is that there are so many unknowns. I had no idea how long patients in this condition can last. The doctor had told me that if she refused all food and drink she would last possibly 4 or 5 days before her kidneys gave out, but even the hospital wasn't too sure, because they were making preparations to discharge her out into my care (with the help of the District Nurses and the Hospice) on the following Monday, when her week's Respite Care was due to come to an end.
As it turned out, my friend's advice was very timely.
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