I would like to apologise to everyone who has been reading this blog for the long silence. I realise it is well over a year since I last posted.
My mom passed away on 23 February 2007, after several difficult months for both of us, and now I'm picking up the threads of my life..... I'd like to carry on with this though, because I realise from your comments that it struck a chord with quite a few people, and if it can be of any help to others, then the effort has been worthwhile.
At the time I last posted, I already had some entries prepared ahead, because I'd been writing things down as they occurred to me in advance, so what I'll do is carry on from my last post, and when that's up to date, then I'll finish the story and gather my thoughts.
I'd just like to say that my mom's passing brought to me an incredible peace. I haven't grieved in any distraught sense of the word, and while I feel a little ashamed of this, a friend hit the nail on the head when she said, "Well, you probably did all your grieving over the last 10 years." That would be oh so true.
In the next few days, I'll carry on with the story.
- - - Technorati Tags:alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease
4 comments:
Patricia,
I was just over at Deb's "Yellow Wallpaper" and was excited to notice a comment from you, so I couldn't help clicking back in.
I was astonished to hear about your mother but completely understand your friend's comments about grief. I've felt this way, myself, about what will be my mother's eventual death. The grieving's pretty much over.
I remember when my father died thinking, wow, now there's a punctuation mark on his life, now I can consider his life as a completed statement. It was an intersting shock to realize this.
I'm looking forward to you gathering your thoughts and publishing them here. I'll be back.
By the way, I remember that I never got around to asking you about health care in New Zealand. Since then I've become extremely familiar with health care situations around the world, including New Zealand. I try not to think about it, now, since the US has one of the worse situations. It's too depressing to contemplate, at the moment, as well, that none of our presidential front runners is particularly motivated to hear their constituents and get the ball rolling.
Oh, almost forgot, I had to move my journals. They are exactly the same as before, just in a different place. The "new" (by a couple of months) url is:
http://themomandmejournals.blogspot.com/
Still the same stuff, just a different place.
Good to be reading you, again, Patricia! --Gail Rae
I just came upon your blog a few days ago. I'm starting my own blog about my own journey as a full time carer of my Mother-in-law who has Alzheimer's. I've been reading the archives here and have learned so much and it all sounds so familiar. Thank you for sharing your journey and I pass on my condolences. May you be able to find joy as you pick up the pieces...it sounds as though you deserve it.
Wilting Rose - http://caretwentyfourseven.blogspot.com/
Hi Patricia
I'm so glad to hear from you and also sorry to hear about your Mom. I am experiencing the same quality of grief that you describe. You've hit the nail on the head. We've been grieving in increments for the past few years and when the actual physical death occurs, it's a shock but not a shock. There's a wistful grief but not (for me) an emotional dam-burst.
I hope you share some more of your experiences--I'm going to try to do that, too. I'd love to hear what you're up to. It's so good to hear from you!
Deb
Thank you all so much. It is wonderful to pick up the threads again with Deb and Gail - quite amazing how sustaining our contacts on the net can be.
I know it helped me immensely to realise how many people were going through the same stuff as I was.
It's in that spirit that I'm carrying on the story. Caregiving can be a very lonely time. But the great thing is to be able to look back with no regrets.
Bless you all!
Patricia
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