For the past 4 years, I have spent my days at home. Early on, I had about 14 hours of home help a week, and that gave me time to get away and either go for a ride with friends or go do some shopping. But the second person who filled this role resented my 2 dogs in the house and seemed to prefer sitting making tea for my mom to doing the cleaning, so we parted company and I decided to do without. I know I should have help even at my present reduced level of 9 hours a week - there has been a cutting-down on the amount of hours across the board. But now there is difficulty finding people, so instead my 28 days carer support has been increased to allow me to put Kath into the hospital one day a week so I can go shopping or do housework.
I sorely miss getting regular physical activity - I was accustomed to working hard on this place and when that level of work diminished I took up aerobics and tae-bo, both of which I really enjoyed. I used to take mom with me, but the aerobics in our village shut down and I stopped the tae-bo because I couldn't take her to that. She became so paranoid about being by herself and worked herself up into such a state if left alone that it's been extremely difficult for me to get exercise. In the last few months however she seems to have settled down a bit and become what one of the aides at the hospital called "more co-operative". So I've made up my mind that come what may I am going to take my dogs round the property boundaries for half an hour a day weather permitting.
Our land is pretty steep, so that will be a good workout. I don't see why I should let my body go to rack and ruin along with my social and business life - haha!
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alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease
3 comments:
Good for you. I exercise every other day, and it does so much for me - letting off endorphins and just having some time just for myself.
Patricia--Whenever I hear the advice "Hire someone to help you at home"--I think of how complicated this can be. Will they get along with my mother? Do they like animals? Do I trust them? There are so many variables, as your post illustrates.
From all I've heard, this may well be the best thing for Kath herself--getting out of the house and spending time with others. If she's like my mother, she'll put up a fuss, but I'm slowly learning that I can't please her all of the time!
I'm glad to hear that you'll get some valuable time for yourself. You deserve it.
Deb
Hello you guys - thank you all for posting. I never thought about the endorphins - I was concentrating on the blood-pumping, bone-growing, muscle-building stuff - but you are sooo right - that's the all-important "feel good" component!
I think many people don't realise the stress of having someone else in your home until it actually happens. I am at the point where I would need to spend a full couple of days cleaning my house before I let anyone in to clean even a part of it! One carer I had spent her first (or second) morning with us going through my mother's drawers, which immediately raised the trust issue - though she was wasting her time on that score. I think the worst aspect of it is that while technically you are "in control", in a way, you are not, because these people are being provided by a support agency, who very often have trouble getting folk. I found the whole thing a huge trial over several years, and though now I have to drive about a 9-10 mile round trip twice on the days my mom goes into day care, on the whole I would rather do that than have someone come here. And - yes - I think it's better for us both that way. Peace at home for me, and a change of scene for my mom.
Bless you Mike - "tough and funny" is the nicest thing you could have said. It has been a huge help finding such a great circle of people and sharing with them this way.
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