Initially Kath wasn't too bad about waiting while I did what I had to do. Then I began to find that she would say to me as I explained that I was going into a shop, "Don't be gone long!" And when I came back "Oh it is SOOO nice to see you again!" - as if I had been away for hours. Then it came to be that if I was away more than a very few minutes she would start to get out of the car - only her lack of mobility prevents her going further - or else open the car door to attract the attention of passers-by. So I would come back to the car to find a group of people around her, which does not make for a good feeling.
I can assure you, it's an awful moment when the Assembled Multitude sees you coming and the heads turn........
On one occasion I took my pc in to be fixed and had to spend a few minutes explaining to the techie what was wrong. When I came out of the shop I found my mother sitting on the pavement on a chair with a very nice couple in charge of her. Where they got the chair from heaven only knows, but as usual the episode made me feel guilty, in spite of having its humorous side.
One day I made the mistake of saying to her "I'm just going into that shop to get - whatever it was - OK?" Her somewhat typical style of response was "Yes, provided you are not gone long." For a second I was speechless. I don't hold with living under provisos and she found that out then and there - assuming she understood what I was on about. Another of those days when the full impact of the situation bore down on me unbearably.
More recently I had to move some funds into my credit card, which is not held by my own bank. I parked outside my bank (lucky day!), went in, drew a little cash and straight to the other bank just 2 doors up the street. I was doing business with a teller when a lady came up to me and said, "Is that your mother in the car out there?" My heart sank - here we go again. The teller said "Off you go!" and I rushed back to the car where another nice lady was sitting on the kerb talking to my mom with her teenage daughter standing alongside. She very kindly said she would stay while I finished my transaction so I went back and hastened through it. I tell you, it's like being under orders.
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alzheimers, alzheimers care, dementia, caregiver, alzheimers disease
1 comment:
Patricia--My mother will STILL say to me: "Oh, take your time," which actually means: "After three minutes I'll be ready to go." I do more and more shopping, etc., on the internet now, just to avoid this. The other day I got out of work early and, instead of going right home, I went to a bookstore. I wandered around and just browsed--for about three minutes, then I started getting fidgety! I guess I'm going to have to relearn some things...
Deb
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